Saying Goodbye

July 4, 2011; By: Audrey Miller
All About Estates

I have said many times before: “the only ‘normal families are the families you don’t know”. Think about this for a moment- of course ‘normal’ is only a word, which we use to define ourselves from others, who might not be so ‘normal’.

My blog this week is on family dysfunction; specifically exploring when there is disharmony between adult children and their parents and the impact this has on the grandchildren. Typically, in many of the families that we work with, there has been a life time together to create memories – which are usually a combination of both positive and negative. However, it is in these ‘normal’ families, where we often see conflict so significant that the hurt is overwhelming and the pain can be physically felt.

But what happens to the grandchildren? Perhaps similar to divorce, the relationship between children and their grandparents can be negatively impacted and sometimes completely severed. Why mommy and daddy are not talking to grandma and grandpa any more can be very difficult for young children to understand. It is even difficult for adults to understand how the situation escalated to such a point and sometimes, even those in the middle of it don’t remember how and why it started.

For older children, teens and young adults, they too may be left out of the grandparenting equation- which is a sad and likely an unnecessary loss for both. If you find yourself in a similar situation, either the grandparents who may not be speaking with their own adult children or the adult children who are not speaking with their parents, please think about the grandchildren. They still have their own histories to write.

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