June 22, 2011; By: Audrey Miller
All About Estates
I read a blog about an interesting seminar that was presented last month by the Estate and Trusts Groups, Lawyers Division B’nai Brith. The seminar entitled “Financial Predators and the Elderly- Banton v Banton” was a case involving an older gentleman who fell in love with a younger waitress and the financial abuse and family conflicts that ensued.
This reminded me of a different but related situation concerning second marriages. I have worked with many families where there has been a second marriage and in many cases, there is a mistrust between the adult children and the new partner.
Some of these second marriages have celebrated many years together and even in the few that have celebrated 20 years plus, suspicions and distrust remains. While love may be blind, having money may make an older individual vulnerable. However, having said that, finding love in later life and remarrying can be a wonderful gift- especially when one had feared that love would not be found again. While my legal colleagues would advise speaking with a lawyer prior to the “walk down the aisle” I have wondered if there is anything else, from a non-legal perspective, that can be done to diminish this concern – that may not always be justified. In addition to open communication between family members and earning one’s trust, which are important in any relationship, there are other ways to approach this situation. I look forward to hearing about your experience and suggestions.Leave a reply