Timing is Everything

Originally published in allaboutestates.ca on July 9, 2013
I want to go gently into the good night- like most of us. However we don’t all get to choose.

Last week I attended the shiva of a wonderful man who was a client of mine for many years. I had initially met his family when his daughter called Elder Caring concerned that her parents were not doing well as her mom had dementia and her dad was struggling in the primary caregiving role. Bev subsequently passed away and over the last few years, Lou struggled with his own health issues.

What I learnt at the shiva house was that on the previous Sunday, Lou had danced at his grand daughter’s wedding. On the following Wednesday, he passed away.

Two weeks ago, I attended a friend’s celebration of life and of being 10 years cancer free. Her dad was part of the celebration. As with the case of Lou, friends and family had gathered together for a fine party. Two days later, my friend’s dad died.

The family celebration that these gentlemen enjoyed was terrific. From the outside looking in, having had an opportunity to embrace and celebrate together could not have been a finer send off. While I share in their loss, I am also grateful for these final memories they had together. I hope we are all as fortunate.
-Audrey Miller

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